Levi- Hentai or not?
by DementedCoffee
Summary: Everyone knows that Fran calls Levi a pervert. Question is: why?


___Well hello there children ;) MWAHAHAHA!  
So this isn't my first time writing stories but I'm not the best writer so yeah_

_Warning: Pure crack, I believe there's no pairings, mostly for shots and giggles. ENJOY :D_

_Disclaimer: I do not own Katekyo Hitman Reborn_

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DementedCoffee: What up children?

Fran: Ne crazy person where am I?

DementedCoffee: Nowhere and everywhere.

Fran: Are you copying the concept of mist "creating something from nothing and nothing of anything."

DementedCoffee: Naw, I'm just saying how we're no where in particular but I can get us to be anywhere...EXAMPLE TIME!

_*DEMENTEDCOFFEE AND FRAN SUDDENLY FIND THEMSELVES IN TSUNA'S OLD ROOM*_

DementedCoffee: Ah the power of the pen...ermmm computer...Oh yeah in case anyone's confused Fran's her because I decided to "kidnap" Fran for a while. (Read: Bel knocked Fran out and gave him to me cause "the froggy was being annoying.")

Fran: Ne crazy person there's no one here

DementedCoffee: Does it look like I care Fran?

Fran: Yes

DementedCoffee: ...you know what let's get this over with before I either punch Fran or cry

*BACK TO THE PREVIOUS LOCATION*

Fran: Stop that crazy person

DementedCoffee: Tell me Fran how old are you?

Fran: Shouldn't you know that?

DementedCoffee: Answer the question child

Fran: I'm not a child, I'm a top magician

DementedCoffee: I call everyone child

Fran: And here I thought I was special. I'm hurt crazy person.

DementedCoffee: Fine tell me why you insist on calling me crazy person we just met

Fran: You kidnapped me

DementedCoffee: Oi Bel willingly gave you to me. Plus your a top magician you can get out of here if you wanted to so badly

Fran: *shrugs*

DementedCoffee: My point proven...ANWAYS Fran seriously though answer this next question. It's a fun question~

Fran: Help. Help. A crazy person is going to molest me

DementedCoffee: Child I couldn't touch unless you wanted me to. Hello, you're a "top magician" and I just write. You could kill me if you anted since our mafia.

Fran: Nice to know you acknowledge my top magician-ess

DementedCoffee: *mutters I think I just created a monster

Fran: Ne crazy person your talking to yourself again. I think you should get checked for that.

Demented: ENOUGH!Seriously tell me Fran...why do you call Levi a hentai?

Fran: Because he's a pervert with a mustache growing from his nose.

DementedCoffee: Ummm...EWWWW!

Fran: Levi-hentai will always be a hentai that jerks off to anyone...especially Boss.

DementedCoffee: Yo Fran tone it down will you? I'm trying to keep this rated T for the audience

Fran: Crazy person what are you talking about?

DementedCoffee: *ignores Fran's question* So...that's it?

Fran: What else do you want?

DementedCoffee: I don't know...a memory...a sudden flashback...

Fran:...

DementedCoffee: If a had a trapdoor I would push you down it and trap you until you give me an answer.

Fran: No thanks

DementedCoffee: *takes out random wand* Oh well then I'll use this wand I..."borrowed."

~A MOUNTAIN, SOME TREES, AND ONE RIVER LATER~

Fran: Crazy person how do you know where I used to live?

DementedCoffee: I didn't know. But thank you for that tibit of info *smirks*

Fran: Crazy stalker

DementedCoffee: Child ain't nobody got time for dat. *looks around* Hmmmm...this is supposed to be your first time meeting Varia so...hold up!

*run past trees to river*

Fran: Hey that's me *points to a child Fran*

DementedCoffee: Wow it actually worked *coughs* I mean... hey Varia and Kokuyo

Fran: This is creepy

DementedCoffee: Shush! I wanna see *stuffs random cookie into Fran's mouth*

_With Kid Fran, Varia, and Kokuyo Gang_

Kid Fran: Ummm. What should I do?

Bel: An apple head now...

Squalo: So he's worn hats since he was a child, eh?

Ken: He's an idiot byon.

Mukuro: An idiot kid.

M.M: Isn't he too stupid?

Kid Fran: *jumps into river without a care* First, gently, drift away.

But you know the last time I drifted, I drifted all the way out to the ocean and no one noticed.

Lussuria: He always plays alone?

Levi: As if I'd know.

Kid Fran: Hrm.. I sense people

_DementedCoffee: You sure took your sweet old time didn't you Fran_

_Fran: You're one to talk_

_DementedCoffee: Touche_

Bel: Ushishisi caught the child Fran

Mukuro: Kufufu

Kid Fran: *rubs eyes* Not good. I'm seeing fairies.

_DementedCoffee: PPffft Fran I cannot with you_

Kid Fran: Onbu rakokko, donbura kokko. Fairies go away.

_DementedCoffee:...how are you a top magician._

_Fran: Crazy stalker you're hurting my feelings_

Bel: What is that idiot doing?!

Squalo: A hex?!

Lussuria: Doesn't he know who we are?

Mukuro: Kufufu you Varia have hidden your presence too much.

*calls out*

Mukuro: Fran, it's me! Your master right?

Kid Fran: Eh...Uwa... That three me for a loop. I'm surprised...

Mukuro: Kufufufu.

Kid Fran: ...that on this mountain there would be pineapple fairies.

_DementedCoffee: Oh snap *rolls on the floor* pineapple fairy!_

_Fran: Crazy stalker your scaring me._

M.M: That's the number one thing you shouldn't say!

Bel: Ushishi

Squalo: Who's the one without a presence again, Rokudo Mukuro?

Kid Fran: Ah, now that I look closer, I recognize the long haired one or rather I know everyone with him. You're all a team.

Bel: Ding ding~

Squalo: He finally noticed eh?

Kid Fran: You guys are tooth decay fungi

_DementedCoffee: Hey Fran was there ever a time you wanted to be a dentist?_

_Fran: No._

_DementedCoffee: Then...you know what never mind_

Bel: Why you!

Squalo: We're not fairies or tooth decay fungi!

Kid Fran: Onbu kokko, donbura kokko. Go away, go away.

*Mukuro in the background being held by Chikusa*

Chikusa: Mukuro-sama, it would be best if you calmed down...or you'll kill what we came for.

Mukuro: Let me go Chikusa. I'm still young

Bel: *takes out knives* I'll kill him!

Squalo: Wait Bel!

Bel: I'll juice you *throws knives*

Kid Fran: Wah! *Uses apple hat as shield*

*knives disappear and apple hat turns out to be an illusion*

Squalo: The hat is an illusion.

Mukuro: If that's the case...

Kid Fran: Help me! A tooth decay fungus that forgot to cut its bangs and a bad-looking man threw some original looking knives at me!

Bel: Bastard.

Ken: Wait, byon, Fran.

Kid Fran: Wah!

Ken: I understand you're feeling panicked, but we're your allies, byon

Kid Fran: Only an idiot would say things like "byon" with a smiley face! That has to be an idiot fairy! I'll catch his stupidity if he catches me!

_DementedCoffee: Buuurn_

Levi: *pops out from nowhere* The game stops here...don't run away Fran *tries to be scary*

Kid Fran: *runs past Levi* This tooth decay fungus isn't the least bit scary, I wonder why. Going on through.

Levi: Wha?! Ignored?!

_DementedCoffee: That face was more creepy than scary...like pedo creepy_

_Fran: Exactly._

_DementedCoffee: Eh whatever I wanna see this to the end!_

Squalo: VIOOO!

*Squalo points his sword towards Fran's neck. Mukuro points his trident as well*

Squalo: Do you really want to die that much?!

Mukuro: Just give up.

Kid Fran: Not good. Unless I can calm the fairies they'll kill me... *points to Squalo* That hair defies common sense. There is no human that would have confidence with hair like that. *looka at Chikusa* Glasses Fairy-san your skin is incredible it's like an eraser *looks at Mukuro* Pineapple Fairy-san you just got here now but it smells like pine. Ahh, it smells! It really smells!

*Cue thunder and lightning*

Squalo: *thinks for a minute* Hey! Listen for a minute Fran. Do you remember getting hit on the the head recently?

Kid Fran: According to Grandma, it seems like I was hit in the head with a cube of cheese. I lost my memories, so I can't remember it.

_DementedCoffee: HOLD UP! WAS THE CHEESE SAVED?_

_Fran: That's what you're worried about?_

_DementedCoffee: What? My mama told me never to waste food. Plus I love cheese. Except American cheese. That's just disgusting._

_Fran: You're so nice crazy stalker._

Squalo: Hmph! I knew it!

Mukuro: In other words, he lost all his memories of the future.

~awkward silence~

Squalo: Rokudo Mukuro, I have something to say to you...

Mukuro: As do I to you Superbi Squalo.

_DementedCoffee: For a convict Mukuro has really good grammar...okay I'll be quiet now._

_Fran: Are you sure?_

_DemetendCoffee: *sticks out tongue*_

_Fran: Ew cray stalker. Now I'm scarred._

Squalo & Mukuro: You can have Fran.

Squalo: Originally, he was your disciple in the future! You raise him and let us rent him out when we need him!

Mukuro: I'm also busy! Varia, it's better to raise him at your facility. That kid needs to be cured of his stupidity, so you take custody.

_DementedCoffee: I can feel dah love~_

Mukuro: Well for right now, Levi, take him.

Levi: I don't need him!

Mukuro: I'll even send a mid-summer gift starting next year.

Levi: I'm fine.

M.M: That's why I said we didn't need Fran.

Levi: *looks at M.M* She's kind of pretty

M.M: *raises eyebrow*

Levi: This irritable girl...I'm interested *blushes*

_DementedCoffee: EWWWW LEVI WHAT THE HELL! SHE'S LIKE 14 OR 15. GROSS! PEDOPHILE! CREEP! _

_Fran: Crazy stalker now you see why Levi-hentai is a hentai._

_DementedCoffee: OKAY THAT'S ENOUGH WITH THIS MEMORY!_

~BACK TO ORIGINAL LOCATION~

DementedCoffee: Levi is perverted...pedophile...KEEP THE CHILDREN AWAY FROM HIM!

Fran: Oi crazy stalker there should be a hospital nearby.

DementedCoffee: *shivers* You know what peace out children I need to go scream in a cubbie corner so laters

Fran: Crazy stalker take me home

**~Fin~**

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_Done!  
Oh yeah that whole memory with Kid Fran, Varia, and Kokuyo Gang is actually in the manga like a bit after the Shimon Arc. I was rereading and came across that chapter and here this fic was born!  
__Yep I'mma scream now so bye bye~  
Leave a review/comment if ya want to._  



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